Fucking space suits

Do you know why in the old sci-fi movies, men from the future (or space aliens) always wear the same outfits? At first I just thought it was a uniform or something you know. Like an intergalactic janitor’s uniform with the name tag that reads, “hi my name is Zrtyi II.” But then it hit me, it’s not a uniform, it’s just that people from the future (or space aliens from an advance civilization) all dress the same. Doesn’t matter if you’re a pilot, janitor, cook, or homeless guy (although I wonder if poor peoples jumpsuits are a little less shiny) everybody wears the same clothes.

I can hear the little wheels turning in your head but no that is not a good thing. A futurian uptopia based on full equality is hell. Sure, sure sounds fucking great doesn’t it, equality for all? But did you also ever notice how in the old movies their were always two people from the future (or aliens from outer space) and they were always the same sex. (They were usually male. Doesn't that make you love our patriarchal society, we would and do project our penises into outer space, just take a look at any space shuttle. Nothing like flying to the moon in a giant cock and balls) Well it’s not that they're necessarily both male, they always 'look' male. Well that will happen in a futuristic utopia; everybody looks and dresses the same. Men start looking like women and vice versa until everything from clothes to people are either uni- or a- sexual. Why do you think in the movies aliens are always traveling millions of light years to anal probe humans? It’s because to them there is essentially no difference between masturbation and sex; everybody is so much alike. it’s like fucking yourself no matter what you're doing. (And that is bound to get boring after awhile, hence the anal probing.)

I mean you have to ask yourself why do men from the future or aliens visit the past or travel to Earth. Could it be because they're in trouble? I mean if everyone looks like one another propagating the species is bound to become a problem. Seriously though if everybody looks, acts, talks, if everyone is the same then whatever time period or galaxy you’re from you’re still fucked. Not only would sex become a chore, but that civilization would be extremely vulnerable to new diseases or any new threat for that matter. It’s unlikely that a completely 'same' society or species could adapt fast enough to survive. Men from the future and space aliens come to past/Earth for only two reasons: to ask for help and offer a warning.

But I hear what you’re saying. Sometimes men from the future or space aliens come to Earth just to wreck as much havoc as they can. I mean sometimes they treat Earth like a rock star treats a hotel room; they just start destroying shit. But I already told you they only come for two reasons. So the question is why when they get here do they start blowing crap up. The answer is simple; they’re pissed. They travel millions of light years to get to some backwater little bitch of a planet in search of help and to offer important advice only to find that Earth is barreling down the same nearly irreversible path as they are. I’d be pissed too. At the point I’d topple a couple of buildings just for the hell of it.

I mean take a look around. T.V. and the internet are only speeding things up. The gap between the rich and poor, the smart and dumb, between the have’s and have-nots is ever widening. Power is being and will continue to be consolidated until only a handful of people have power. People are becoming less human and more like cattle everyday. God we all talk about the same things, we all shop at the same stores. We all work the same dead end jobs to provide for our children until they’re old enough to get a dead end job of their own. Fuck. Cloning, commercials, sheep, government, religion. It’s all the same.

So here's the real question: How many individuals are left in the world? How long until society smoothers every last individual? How many days, months, years until the death of democracy is met with thunderous applause? How much longer until personal soveriengty, freedom, free will is sacrificed for security, safeness, equality? Answer: Not long.

And what then? Well then we get in our time machines (or spaceships) zip up our shiny new jumpsuits, fuck our friend bobby (or is it bobbi?) and pray to God we can find an answer in some backwater dive.