CRASH
it mustva been
one hell of a
**CRaSH*
that turned the car's
window from glass
into duct tape
and c-e-l-l-o-p-h-a-n-e.
Left Shoe
My left shoe wont stay
tied
no matter how hard I
try.
I double knot it
tight,
but I still always
trip.
Suburban Nightmares
it's late and I’m drunk
I'm lost in my own backyard
twisting avenues
filled with brand new cars
the pretty houses
with their hidden scars
suburban nightmares
and Im scared
because I’ve been here before
lakewood estates
and cast iron black gates
the same pillars and perfect doors
lets burn it all down
lets burn it all down
every house looks the same
green lawns
perfect, neat, and filled with pain
picket white fences
they’re already stained
suburban nightmares
and I'm scared
because I’ve been here before
skyline boulevard
filled with caviar
the same pillars and perfect doors
Lets burn it all down
Lets burn it all down
1 comment:
cody,
it's wonderful to read your work on your blog--what a great way to work on your goal of "audience." one day, i'll have to use blogging in the classroom.
i wanted to comment on poems "crash" and "suburban nightmares."
"crash" is my favorite poem on your blogpage (forgive me unsavvy techno lingo). you're done reading it before you realize it's over, so it causes you to think about what the speaker is saying; re-reading it is emotionally satisfying, like getting a joke on a 2-second delay.
"suburban nightmares" is an ambitious poem, and it conjures up familiar imagery of cookie cutter houses that make the head spin. however, unlike "crash" i think it's too obvious in its aim and could do with working toward subtlety--keep the strong images but tone down the commentary. in other words, i think it's the tone: the speaker's attitude toward the subject--it just seems overdone. i do think it can be a strong poem with some work.
thanks for inviting me to your blog--i'll remind myself to check it out every now and then.
oh yeah, you should look to take the adv. writing class next year--it will help you work on some of your concerns voiced in your blog on word choice, imagery, and esp. audience.
happy summer,
victoria
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