rabbit, run

the lullaby everyone sing

2007-10-24T10:20:00.001-07:00

everything
will be
better
tomorrow

tomorrow
everything
will be
alright

hangover

2007-10-24T10:19:00.001-07:00

stomach swimmingly
towards
fluttering
hearts
of laughter
and
despair

party of one

2007-10-24T10:17:00.002-07:00

a party of
one
is a very
lonely
party indeed

angel wings

2007-10-24T10:17:00.001-07:00

even those bleed!

cocoon

2007-10-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

travel indwards!

2007-08-14T21:15:00.001-07:00

The Turtle Parade

I.

oh,
the filth
and
fury of
the
nightingale's whistle
illuminates
the darkness
to
reveal a
punch
drunk procession,
one
absent a
brain,
marching slowly
in
time in
the
turtle parade

II.

magistrates and
rancid
troupe men
grate
their crooked
teeth
beneath their
veils
while skeletons
in
the closet
remain
disguised as
coat
hangers in
the
turtle parade

III.

oh,
I see
the
foolish party
in
my dreams
at
night and
stir
awake upon
the
backs of
brutes
and as
I
hear cries
of
verity inside
the
grenade they
are
lost in
the
shrapnel in
the
turtle parade

2007-08-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

Shooting Star

He
took a
moment to bask
in the
reflected
moonlight
that danced
across her face
from the
waves
on
the ocean
as the spark
in his
heart
disappeared
like a
shooting star fighting
for its
life

2007-08-10T06:13:00.000-07:00

oh

sometimes, i can't wait until
i die so i can look God
in his smug face:

what the hell, man
...

oh

but who died and made you God?
the only answer being
God and God

and ill show him my poem
about the tree
and he will show me the tree

...

oh

2007-08-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

fear

if fear
is love
than i
am scared
to death
i am
filled with
an uncertanity
so sweet
i can
taste your
lips in
my sleep
an exhilaration
so rich
my skin
prickles with
electricity so
that i
dare to
live more
in a
second than
i have
in a
year.

2007-08-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

the two oceans of the soul

And God said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters."
-Genesis 1:6

lanterns, their sources
and their reflection,
wax and wane
as the waves
crash on the
rock of the
void that seperates
the two spheres.

2007-07-25T10:03:00.001-07:00

memorial

I.

today i
built
a house
out
of twisted
words,
concrete, and
steel
it has
no
walls but
its
foundation is
firm

II.

from the
point
of the
roof
hangs,
by a
piece of
wire,
a stone
that
burns red
(my
heart)

III.

beneath the
red
stone lies
other
stones that
are
grey, my
father,
my grandpa,
many
others whose
names
i am
not
familiar with

IV.

i know
someday
the
wire shall
break
my only
hope
is that
i
do not
crush
the rocks
below

2007-07-22T18:52:00.001-07:00

Dinner For Two

The candlelight
flickered
in your eyes
as your foot
brushed mine
under the table

2007-07-22T18:51:00.002-07:00

Telling

The only readable words
on any of the faded pages
of that journal
were "I miss you."

2007-07-22T18:51:00.001-07:00

Golden Gaze

God's gaze gives the Golden Gate its grace.

2007-07-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

Summer

The corded edge
of the red
cafe awning
brushes against the window
as it sways
in the warm breeze

2007-07-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

untitled

the cityscape in the evening:
lights against water

beauty:
a speck of blue in your eye

2007-07-18T11:50:00.000-07:00

untitled

when i sleep
you are awake

when you sleep
i am a awake

i dream
your day

your day
will be
filled with
beauty

you dream
my day

so even as
a stranger
here
no harm
will come
to me

2007-07-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

Sadist

i prefer the
rip
of the
page
to the
sound
of the
pen

2007-07-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

chill

jumping in was
fine
the surface was
warm
but the depths were
cold

2007-07-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

thank you

thanks to the garbage man
with the coke bottle glasses
who is addicted to pain-killers
and wore purple scrubs instead of a tie
thanks to the drunk
who forgot my name
whose breath smelled of jack
whose eyes were filled with tears
thanks to the homeless man
who stopped pushing his cart
long enough to cover his bare chest
with his hat as the hearse passed by

2007-07-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

untitled

when the graves are
full
lets dig up the
bones
and bleach the skulls
white
painting as we
go

2007-07-15T10:53:00.001-07:00

graduation

everyday in
june
is graduation
day
because of the
way
the car's headlights
shine
against the
melancholy skies
and the
chocolate
clouds

2007-07-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

faith

is an
airbus,
a pond
called the
pacific,
and still
knowing
the hot
and
itchy
taste
of your
hair

2007-06-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

the king of boredom

i sit upon my throne, take
up my cast iron crown, and
address my loyal subjects:

welcome, brothers and sisters,
dullards and good idiots,
welcome to the land of the
faceless whom blow muted fish
bone trumpets and wave blunted
butter-knife partisans
adorned by banners that bear
apathy's simple coat of
arms, greetings to the lazy
and unimaginative!
now please line up to receive
your ties, your boring old
nine to fives, and cotton chains
that you yourself shall tie to
thirty inch flat screen TVs,
mortgages and nagging wives.

2007-06-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

blind man on street corner

where did he find
such a splendid
red cowboy hat?

2007-06-18T22:35:00.000-07:00

nirvana

the space between
two round water
marks that never
quite touch

2007-06-05T23:24:00.001-07:00

handwriting

think of all the
beautiful
things i might
write
if something
other than my
hand
could do the
writing!
but nothing else
can,
so i watched
bemused.
is it
me or my (left)
hand
wondering
what my
right (weak)
hand
is thinking?

2007-06-04T19:06:00.000-07:00

spasm

And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
Acts 2: 1-4

the heat in the church is oppressive a three-year-old sits draped across his father’s shoulders with his back to the alter the boy looks up suddenly the boy has no bones he writhes out of his father’s arms while looking up fear frustration and joy play across the boy’s face the boy pulls desperately at his father’s hand but his dad is a statue like i am the boy thinks he can move his father if he can pull a little harder
i looked up to see what the boy is looking at from the mouths of children: two of the ceiling fans near the back of the church where i am sitting are broken that is why it is so damn hot the fan nearest the alter and the crucifix is spinning so fast it looks as if it is going to spin off its fixture into the front row pews on the right hand side and make a horrific mess of things it will be months before anybody looks up at the fans
but i can see how it could happen, the fan spinning off the fixture the fan would only kill people on my right hand side it would not touch anyone on the left hand side of the church (or the right hand side of the wooden Christ that hangs over the alter) the same side as the little refrigerator that they keep the crackers and juice
and the priest said, “the holy spirit is meant to make us uncomfortable and maybe even afraid”
he could see the fan too but it does not bother him in the least he is too busy bowing he bows like all of the fans all at once he bows violently with all of his body bending backwards and forwards no one sits in front or behind of him at the height of the music he moans too

behold, a stranger at the door ge gently knocks, has knocked before, has waited long, is waiting still:we treat no other friend so ill

i want only to laugh
saint piqued polo sits next to him saint piqued polo’s veins joyfully pop out of his arm as he grabs his shoulders to slow his bowing. saint piqued polo pushes him left to right letting him sway left to right, making it easier for the people behind him to watch him saint piqued polo is the happiest man in the church he smiles, and sways back and forth with him and enjoys the feel of the cool air on his bald head from the fans above
saint little brother is not as strong as saint piqued polo but is just as kind, and is the greater of the two saints because he gets angry. Saint little brother is a healer, when he begins to bow too fast he places his hand on his forehead to slow him he always rubs him on the back
saint minivan only smiles

if we will open, see, he stands with loving heart and laden hands;o matchless kindness! and he shows this matchless kindness to his foes.

i want only to cry and laugh and bow because i know the three year old knows he knows i want to tell someone about the fans but as i walk out the church i wonder if that little room that the disciples huddle in was hot o bet all they wanted was a fan
i want to moan but my voice is stuck in my throat o God, send forth your Holy Spirit into my heart that i may perceive, into my mind that i may remember, and into my soul that I may meditate aveni, creator Spiritusmentes tuorum visita,imple superna gratia, quae tu creasti pectora, amen!

2007-05-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

construction site at seven p.m.

five great behemoths
sun their tired dirt caked claws
in the fading light

2007-05-21T01:10:00.000-07:00

christmas tree lot as metaphor

in the desert
tender boughed saplings
turn their needles
toward the sun
and claw the earth
with root for water

2007-05-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

happy

in the
convex
glass of
an em-
pty bot-
tle i
do not
know my
own face

2007-05-06T01:14:00.001-07:00

word

a lonely
joke
husk no
punch
line

2007-05-06T00:23:00.000-07:00

hero

knowing
full well
that it
did not,
he bent
over
to tie
his shoe
as if
it mattered
if he
tripped.

2007-04-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

disillusionment

on the commute
home
the ivory elephant
walrus
on the street
corner
turns back into
my
broken and discarded
futon

2007-04-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

the universe is expanding

the bird on
the corner
of the roof
opens his
mouth

from it's mouth
space is born
that the bird
must fill with
sound

2007-04-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

cliche (but true)

sometimes,
the surf
pounds the
shore, some
times it
recedes,
sometimes
it storms.
but it
is still
constant.

2007-04-19T23:49:00.001-07:00

hurt

do not
chew
gum on
an
empty
stomach

2007-04-17T11:26:00.001-07:00

the truth about the human mind
it hides the fear of human kind
blocks it out as if to blind
the people from themselves

it fills the void of daily life
it aims to end the shame and strife
yet cuts through judgment like a knife
and makes us second guess

if only for a second, two
I may have caught a glimpse of you
but as my mind intends to do
I seem to have forgot

if man can fail so easily
to rid the world of misery
then what will be the fate of me
when trouble comes to call

we can't distinguish right or wrong
the words we're preached in speech and song
but we will stay where we belong
as if we know no better

so when the judgment day does come
and they surrender, they succumb
to hear the single beating drum
that pounds within our hearts

maybe then we'll see the day
when we rise and stand to say
that this is ours and we will stay
no matter what the cost

for in my soul I know it true
the good of man lies within you
whatever you intend to do
plan to march with me

into the light of sanctity
for you are what empowers me
to be the man I want to be
and I thank you for that

2007-04-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

brother ken

I.

i know you
were hurt by
the limp you
had sunday

i know there
were only five
of us there
only a mass
for close friends

but i liked
your sweat pants
and flannel
more than your
long white robe

II.

maybe all
priests should wear
sweatpants and
ride their bikes
to breakfast

III.

i smiled when
you held the
host and i
could see your
long white socks

2007-04-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

silence

sitting in
the chapel
the silence
was so whole
i almost
surrendered

2007-04-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

I.

On my mom's birthday, I put on my best suit, I get my haircut.

I pretend she's coming home.

II.

I have paid my grandmother's phone bill for the past year.

Just so I can hear her voice.

III.

We bet him five dollars that he would drown.

A bittersweet victory.

2007-04-02T00:17:00.000-07:00

Alles gute kommt von oben

I.

Ach ja, aber wo ist oben?
Ist oben hier?
Liegt oben am Berggipfel?
oder unter dem Meer?
Was ich nicht weiB
Mach mir nicht heiB.

II.

Ich weiB wo,
oben ist hier.
Oben ist höcher als der höchest Berggipfel.
Oben ist dunkler als die dunklest Meer.
Oben liegt im deinem schonem Herz.
Alles gut kommt von deinem schonem Herz.

translation:

All that is good comes from above

Ah yes, but were is above?
Is above here?
Does it lay on the mountaintop?
Or under the sea?
What I do not know
do not make me name.

I know where,
above is here.
Above is higher than the highest mountaintop.
Above is darker than the darkest sea.
Above lies in you beautiful heart.
All that is good comes from your beautiful heart.
-for mere

2007-03-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

nap

it was warm
in the blankets
with the sun
like the birds
how did they come
through the glass
birds must
be sun or her
breathing soft

2007-03-19T00:57:00.000-07:00

~The Emil Sheppard Stories~

No matter what time it was the hallway always looked white and empty. His white legs stuck out from under his robe. The tile was cold against his socks.
He used the chair like a walker. He walked next to him.
The doors of other rooms were open and all the TVs were on. They were always on. The patients in the rooms watched TV. They did not watch us walking.
Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. When he got close to the end hallway he said, “He,” -he put his entire weight on the chair and spoke to the doctor- “needed the exercise.”
He didn’t say anything.
The doctor stood waiting at the other end.

…..

The streetlights buzzed.
“This is basketball. Shoot until you can’t. Then shoot some more.”
Emil’s arms were heavy from shooting.
“Shoot until your arms are numb, until you are numb. Don’t think, shoot. Shoot everything human, -the ugly, the flawed, the lazy- out of you.”
The twine and the streetlights were the only other sounds.
“At some point you will stop. It won’t be you shooting. You’ll just shoot.”
His hands ached, it did not seem so long ago that he had shot with his father.
“You’ll play this game your entire life for a couple of seconds. A couple of seconds when you disappear. When the other players, the court, the rim, the backboard, the ball, everything disappears.”
He rubbed his hands, “You’ll play until you can’t. Then maybe you’ll teach your son.”
Emil defiantly left his follow through up. The twine whispered.
“Now drive.”
He dribbled hard down the left side of the lane, “Dribble with your left hand when you drive down the left side.”
He slapped the ball hard out of Emil’s right hand.
“Again,” the warm feel of alcohol hit Emil’s face.
Emil drove hard to the basket with his left hand. As he reached out to lay the ball up an arm came down hard across his body.
Emil went crashing to the ground.
“This is basketball. But this is life too.”

…..

He was lying on the curb and part of the grass in front of his house. He enjoyed the sun, the wetness of the grass, and the smell of the earth.
His mom called him into the house.
It’s for you, she handed him the phone.
I’m just calling to say that I’m leaving. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I can’t stand it anymore.”
“Okay.”
If you need any money, call your grandmother or ask you mother. They’ll give it to you.”
“Okay.”
He hung up the phone.

…..

Emil liked to shoot.
Emil caught the ball on his fingertips with his legs bent, feet shoulder width apart, right foot in front of the left. His right arm was a rigid ninety-degree angle. Emil pushed his elbow through his shot, dropped his left hand away, and flicked his wrist. He reached for something he couldn’t reach. The ball made a pleasant swoosh.
The court and the half court beside it were empty. Sometimes a woman would meet another woman to smoke cigarettes under the shade of the trees while their children played. Some days no one else came to the park.
But around noon, a man with a knee brace came to the park. Emil wanted to shag balls for the man so the man would shag balls for him.
The man nodded to Emil as he walked over to the other end of the court to shoot.
Other players started to show up. Players that knew each other shot on the same side of the court. Players that came alone or did not know anyone went to the hoop with the fewest players.
Sometimes when someone missed long, Emil would make a small effort to track down the ball and pass it to the person who had shot it. The man with the knee brace missed and the ball rolled all the way over to the other end of the court. Emil picked it up and passed it to the man waiting at half court.
“Thanks,” said the man.
“Sure,” said Emil.
Soon there were enough of them to play a small game. But everyone waited; everyone was sure that someone else was coming. Most everyone dribbled. Some continued to shoot but most just dribbled and looked up at the rim and waited.
About a half hour went by until another person showed up. No one wanted to wait for the new guy to warm up, the man in the knee brace asked the people on his side if they wanted to play. Then he went to the half court and asked the people on the other side of the court if they wanted to play. Everyone wanted to play.
To decide teams they lined up at the free throw line. Emil shot second. He made his free throw. When a person made it that person would walk underneath the rim to rebound for those who hadn’t. All but two made their shot. On his third shot, the man in the knee brace missed again. If he had made it, he would have been the last player on Emil’s team.
The teams were fair. The first points were hard; it took awhile for the players to feel each other out. But through the middle points things clicked. No one spoke except to swear or to say the score.
Emil had to guard the man in the knee brace. The man was not fast or strong but was a great shooter.
Emil did not shoot much during the game. But on the last point, he drove down the middle of the lane straight towards the knee with the brace on it and then changed directions. The man in the brace couldn’t recover. He yelled, “Help.”
But it was too late. Emil kissed it off the glass.
It was getting dark; no one wanted to play again. Emil walked by the man with the knee brace, he was adjusting.
“Do you want to shoot around?”
“No. I’m done.”
So Emil picked up his ball. It was on the tips of fingers. He kept his elbow straight. He reached for something he couldn’t reach. He flicked his wrist. His shot bounced off the stiff double rim knocking loss splinters in the twine and rolled into the grass.

…..

The vomit soaked into the shag.
Emil pushed as hard as he could.
“Turn over, please.”
But he could not move him. So he wiped it from his breath so he could breathe.
And he feel asleep against his side moving.

2007-03-05T01:34:00.001-08:00

Smile

...Where we began

It's been so long since that day
that I first saw your face
and noticed the way you smiled
And I thank God everyday that I did.

Each time you do, each time
I'm back in that moment
hoping that this love is real
And I thank God everyday that it is.

As I sleep tonight,
I hope to dream of you
but only so that when I wake
I get to wake up next to you

Then I smile
because a clear dream of you
is worth far less than your reality
And I thank God everyday that it is.

But what would life be like
if I'd been born 30 years before you
in the neighborhood where you live?

If you passed my house on your bike
would I know it was you
by the way you smiled at me?

What would happen
if for some reason the world ended tonight
would it end you and I?

Would I be afraid?

And then you smile.

I am back...

2007-02-24T01:50:00.000-08:00

the lonely ruin

writhe
the carrion
sunrise

warm
feral
marrow

bare-feet
beat
pulse
the vine broken
concrete

the lonely ruin

echo
echo
let go
let go

2007-02-22T20:14:00.000-08:00

No Room for Bad Moods

A dimension not far from where my mind plays
lies darkness I willingly forgo

It's not what lies ahead, but within, that scares me
as spite drafts through the corridors of my observation

Keen my mind yet still faults
knowing not how to manage
but yields knowing well the benefits

I can calmly pass the clouded door
for I know we will meet in the next
where it is light again

2007-02-12T00:08:00.000-08:00

t--h--e--s-h--o-e--b--o-x--redux

I.

i-w---o-n--d--e--r--

d--o-e--s-i--t--k---n--o-w---

t--h--a--t--i--t--i--s-

m---a--d--e--e--m---p--t--y--

II.

i wonder
does it know
that it is
made empty

2007-02-12T00:03:00.000-08:00

here
is the
fear
i dare
not
say:

2007-01-30T19:31:00.000-08:00

What I Found

It was a dark, cold night
as the snow was falling down
I pulled my jacket tight
as I stepped outside
and all I saw
and all I saw was white.

I was a lonely man
and the only one who knew
I had my own two hands
and a roof over my head
the winter's so
the winter's so long.

All the stars in the sky
fell down to the ground
and laid my eyes
on what I found.

It was a slight shadow
fair and familiar in the dark
but how did I know
what it should have meant to me
it called out loud
it called out loud my name.

And in the bright silence
we walked toward each other
And in my cold voidance
I didn't recognize myself
my lonely heart
my lonely heart awoke.

All the stars in the sky
fell down to the ground
and laid my eyes
on what I found.

2007-01-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

while in Good Faith

while in Good Faith
wear protection
because I haven't always
been in Good Company

2007-01-08T16:37:00.000-08:00

the Company

apparently
i'm the intellectual property
of Salomon's
parent company
Adidas
copyrighted
from now
until eternity
as the entity
which from hereinafter
shall be referred to
only in the capitalized
christ-like fashion
as the Company.

2007-01-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

wrestle

pin.
it was over
before it began.
not that she didn't try.
she did.
mightily.
i could feel her muscles
strain-------.
there was a
second of
doubt.
if she would have
made me
laugh
just a little bit
harder
or counted
just a little bit
faster
1.,2...
she might have
pinned me.

2007-01-04T17:28:00.001-08:00

ād nô'zē-em

I.

ad
nau sea m.

t.v.
sea

add
ocean-sick
endlessly

pale
hell
(sauna)

i don't
feel well.

so i fell
in well.

II.

~sic~

2007-01-04T17:09:00.000-08:00

our father

nothing restore me
like a friendly hand *squeeze*
from a strange stranger.

2007-01-04T15:04:00.000-08:00

Edge Of Time

Driving down the freeway as the sun sets slow
across into the outskirts of town
I can't see where I'm going but my foot stays steady
I may be blinded but I won't slow down

The tires tearing down the road are running low
and my mind and heart are getting sore
But when night turns to day they won't see me this way
'cause I'll find what I'm looking for

Oh I believe that there's something there
a light at the end of the line
so I'll carry on until my final destination
a darkness on the edge of time

I don't know if I'm fighting for the good or bad
the pouring rain has blurred my view
but the hope that lies within my heart is burning red
I'm hoping it'll get through to you

The narrow road that lies ahead is closing fast
I'm soon going to pass you by
but before I go there's something you should know
My love for you will never die

Oh I believe that there's something there
a light at the end of the line
so I'll carry on until my final destination
a darkness on the edge of time

2006-12-30T17:21:00.000-08:00

win

5 guys, my team, got me this far, and the other
4 deserve this shot just as much as I do. A
3 wins the game. I got
2 guys crowding me yelling in my ear, and I only have
1 shot at this.
0.

by: Kevin

2006-12-30T17:19:00.000-08:00

lose

ball. ball. ball. ball.
slide, outside foot first.
then, inside foot second.
bend my legs, deep.
ball. ball. ball. ball.
don't stand, damn it.
sit with no chair.
trace the ball, deeper.
ball. ball. ball. HELP.
don't look, not now.
walk towards the bench.
bury it there, deepest.

2006-12-20T00:10:00.000-08:00

my monster

i named him.
he looks like
my shadow's
shadow.
he is invisible.
he looks
like this:

2006-12-12T01:55:00.000-08:00

devil lived

behind the lid
of a lad
name lyle
lived a vile
albeit little
creature who
loved to smile

2006-12-12T01:41:00.001-08:00

devil lied

forlorn
the figure
of little lyle
scratched his horn
poised his pistol
pointed
focused on
a clone profile
as if anointed
all the while

2006-12-12T01:22:00.000-08:00

devil died

but lyle hadn't
lied
to say the least
the devil
was surpised
by the bit
of bullet
flying towards
his eye

2006-12-11T15:23:00.000-08:00

church

i like to watch the
constellations shine on the
wood pew near her feet.

2006-12-04T00:51:00.000-08:00

the chair

consider a chair for a moment.
betwixt each second, exists another
and betwixt each of the latter
exists a multitude of chairs
each unique from the last
by no more than a fraction
of a percent of an atom.
their legs fill my mind
like the tentacles of the leviathan.
o, i need to sit! because i am a chair.

2006-11-29T00:30:00.000-08:00

Watch The World

I watched the smoke
as it blew higher
up and through the roof
I watched the hose
as it blew harder
as the fire grew
I watched as Noah
professed to Allie
that his love was true
I held your hand
and sat there knowing
that we'd make it through

2006-11-23T22:19:00.000-08:00

Your end

The first fall of winter
a deep shade of red
flooding the streets
for the things that were said
the children are playing
their faces aglow
they can't wait to dive in
to the blood in the snow

It's painting the sidewalks
and drowning the yards
people line up
with their blood donor cards
they sign up and offer
their own to be spilled
this show has turned out
to be darker than billed

The stunned of the living
are walking the streets
more wake from the gurneys
and rise to their feet
so throw on your black shoes
dripping with blood
and take to the march
of this penitence flood

Disease from the wounded
hangs ripe in the air
like pains of the night
that you had the affair
so sit back, relax
and don't put up a fight
you have front row tickets
to opening night

The sharpest of knives
will cut deeper than bone
and show you just how
you die cold and alone
and when the band marches
across your black soul
I'll watch from the rooftops
and wave as they go

These darkest of days
came from morbid beliefs
that apologies offered
came through gritted teeth
so say your goodbyes
it's your final farewell
I'll savor your death
and I'll see you in hell

2006-11-21T00:26:00.000-08:00

anxiety rips

anxiety rips
the stomach walls,
wrenches
the heart,
a drop of molten metal,
into the open wound.

fear finds
a guttural sound
welling inside,
ballooning in the throat,
only to catch
against the back
of the tongue.

worry wills
the hand,
balled in a fist,
to seek the
yielding wall,
and crush itself
in a tangle
of bone and flesh
and splinters.

as if it would be relief
to shatter
a glass ornament
between the teeth,
tonguing the shards
of papery glass
crunching,
scraping,
against delicate enamel
no longer smooth.

as if it would be relief.

by: angela

2006-11-21T00:21:00.000-08:00

untitled

i find myself leaking
bleeding clear,
dripping with regret
flooding fear.

i find myself cracking
opened wide,
guilt seeping into
softest side.

i find myself ripping
at the seams,
tossing aside my
very dreams.

i find myself asking
why it’s me,
when in times before
unnamed “she.”

i find myself dreaming
better days,
found wrapped in impos-
-sible haze.

i find myself writing.

by: angela klaassen

2006-11-18T21:50:00.000-08:00

black

2006-11-18T21:44:00.000-08:00

white

2006-11-18T20:29:00.000-08:00

father

far from here, in the sea
of salty tear, in the aft
of a sinking raft, which was
christened "art" and charged no fare,
lived a rat, with hide like tar.
whose fate it was to become
fat, as he ate the hearts of
young passengers from afar.

-for my father. i love you

2006-11-15T01:24:00.000-08:00

2006-11-14T12:58:00.000-08:00

a excerpt from a recent letter from mere:

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I like Candy
only a little more than You!

Peace & Love,
~Meredith~

*wow, that so sweet it almost makes sick. thanks girl.

2006-11-10T14:17:00.000-08:00

shoebox

I.

to a shoe,
being in
a shoebox
must be like
being born
and put in
a coffin
(meant for one)
with someone
that looks just
like you do.

II.

or it could
be like a
tragedy:
the modern
Romeo
and Juliet.
young lovers
in their tomb.

III.

i can't stress
this enough,
to a shoe
it might be
like living
in a pink
or salmon
mobile home.

IV.

whatever it
is like, i'm
sure the light
is welcomed
and the feel
of doing
what you are
intended for
is like God.

2006-11-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

rain

if it weren't for the wetness
i would love the rain.
but something about the rains and hard winds
that can seep into my bones through my skin
reminds me of love.
but the the kind of rain that makes small rivers
that run down my driveway
and pool up against the curbs
like the pond of stagant water that
sits in my broken bathroom sink
makes me smile.
but before i go to sleep
I ask myself:
does anything smell as good as
wet concrete on a sunny day
or feel as good as
a fat rain drop running down my face
or sounds as good as the rain on a tin roof?
but of course the answer is yes:
the itchy smell of your perfume
the feel or your smooth skin against mine
with the sounds of the rain whispering to me
through my window.

-for mere

2006-11-06T02:14:00.000-08:00

the ghost in

the ghost in, the ghost
in, the ghost in the machine.
is it me, this human animal
or the ghost that is up
late typing? am i in
a fleshy skin prison?
a bit of slick substance.
unobservable and
immaterial wedged
in the back of my head
or deep warm hiding in
my intestines? like a
worm. and my hands and legs
are nothing but levers
and buttons. come out my
little ghost, let me see!

2006-11-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

here's to friendship

toast!!!
raise your glasses and your spirits!
here's to friendship,
the quiet
but fierce kind
that warms the blood
like beer.
true, i am not drunk
enough
to tell you all
that i love you.
but i have drunk enough
(friendship and beer)
to know it.
and it is also good
to know
that i will never become
sick of one.

to Danny, Jake, Colin, Kevin, and Matt

2006-10-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

I found this the other day

I woke up with a bitch of a headache.
My head felt like it was going to explode.
I tried opening my eyes but the light was just too much.
I thought to myself, fuck.
What a hangover.
But then I started to sort some stuff out.

2006-10-21T15:11:00.000-07:00

the ~~~~ocean~~~~

i can't sleep
because the ~~~~ocean~~~~

hits my window.
i can hear

the hallow seashell (@>,
the sound of

the empty streets
filled with water.

2006-10-13T13:56:00.000-07:00

-dance-

do the:

-and ce-
(antzy)
-can de-
(candy [kandee])
luxurious -cedan-
-decan[2]-

1. any of the three equal 10-degree divisions of a zodiac sign
2. the ruler of one of these zodiac sign divisions

2006-10-04T14:14:00.001-07:00

The Onion

Once upon a time
a petty peasant
presented a beggar
with an onion as present.
The very next day she died.
And in the middle of night
the devil drew nigh.
A choir of hired
and uninspired angels
cried from high heavenly angles
as she fell into the blackness of hell.
The pit, the pitch,
the blasphemous bitch
drowned in a fiery lake of fire
on a pristine pyre
in which the sulfur stench
could not be quenched.
Until an Anglican angel
named Percival Percy
decided to show mercy.
With a divine piece of pine,
Percy sent her a line
with an onion on the end.
The peasant greedily pulled herself up
but halfway up
became partially stuck.
The damned daringly
clawed her clothes and toes
and absolutely refused to let go.
The peasant , screeched and screamed,
“Mine. It is my Onion.”
With that the pearly line,
split like so much fishing twine.

2006-10-04T00:16:00.000-07:00

Pieces

I consider myself lucky
for all the little pieces of you
that I have in my room:
Our picture, my penguin, your socks.

But I'm even more grateful
for all the little pieces of you
that I have in my heart:
Our fights, my anxiety, your laugh.

But I cherish you the most
for the little pieces of us
that we both carry around:
Our kisses, our tears, our love.

-for Mere

2006-10-03T00:48:00.000-07:00

The Brave Officer: Exploring Mr. Reid’s Thought Experiment

The following essay will explore Thomas Reid’s famous brave officer thought experiment as it relates to Locke’s theory of personal identity. The essay will first offer a brief explanation of the thought experiment and it’s consequences in regards to Locke’s theory. Having established Reid’s objections to Locke’s theory, this essay will then examine a response to Reid’s objections and problems that such a response might create.
Reid’s thought experiment begins by supposing that their exists an officer that preformed a brave act, that the same officer had been beaten as a child for stealing, and that later in life the same officer was made a general. The thought experiment continues when Reid considers the possibility that the officer that preformed the brave act remembered the fact that he had been beaten as a child, the general remembered the brave act he committed as an officer, and that the general had completely forgotten about the beating he received as child. The thought experiment might be reconstructed as follows: B remembers A, C remembers B, but C doesn’t remember A, given that A is the child who had been flogged, B is the brave officer, and C is the forgetful general.
If one accepts the thought experiment is possible and that a person’s identity only exists as far back one’s consciousness extends, one must naturally accept the absurd conclusion that the “…general is, and at the same time is not the same person with him who was flogged at school” (Reid, 114). Or more simply, one must accept the absurd conclusion that B=A, B=C, and C≠A. Indeed, since intuition suggests that the above thought experiment is at least conceivable, Reid asserts that the thought experiment commits those in agreement with Locke’s theory without qualification to the above-mentioned absurdity.
In his “The Problems of Personal Identity,” Perry addresses the consequences of Reid’s thought experiment by amending Locke’s theory by utilizing Quinton’s concept of an ancestral relation. Perry description of the ancestral of relation is as follows:
Take two objects, a and z, and a relation R. If there is a sequence of objects a, b, c, . . . w, x, y, z, such that a has R to b, b has R to c, and so on, until finally x has R yo y , and y has R to z, then a and z are related by the ancestral of R (17).
Perry’s makes the ancestral relation more accessible by appealing to a more concrete example based on familial relations. Perry’s example explains that while his great-grandfather is obviously not his parent, Perry and his grandfather are ancestrally related because his grandfather was the father of Perry’s father. Or to use Perry’s own words the “…ancestral of the parent relation is the same as the relation ‘being an ancestor of,’ and that is where the notion of the ancestral got its name” (17).
The concept of the ancestral relation resolves Reid’s Brave Officer thought experiment. Based on the above definition of ancestral relation C and A can be said to be ancestrally related if and only if A has R to B and B has R to C, when C is the general, B is the officer, A is the child, and R=the act of remembering. Since the general remembers the officer and the officer remembers the child (A has R to B, B has R to C) then the general is ancestrally related to the child. This demonstrates that a person’s identity does not merely exist only as far back as one’s consciousness extends but rather exists as far as one consciousness extends ancestrally as well. Therefore, the child and the general are the same person despite the general’s inability to remember the child.
While a slight revision to Locke’s theory avoids the consequences of Reid’s thought experiment, a slight revision to the thought experiment creates new problems. Perry names this revision the Senile General Case. In the experiment, Perry imagines that:
The senile general’s biography is just like the brave officer’s, except the senile general can remember being flogged as a child and cannot remember performing any brave deed as an officer, nor can he remember anything subsequent to his performance of the brave deed (19).
This revision creates a similar problem that existed in the Reid’s original thought experiment, namely that the general is the officer but not the child. Or demonstrated another way, C has R to A and C does not have R to B, and B has R to A. Therefore, C=A, B=A, and C≠B because C and B lack the necessary ancestral relation. Or more simply the revision again allows the general to both be and not be himself in spite of the concept of ancestral relation.

2006-09-12T22:13:00.000-07:00

stairmaster

o, hail you stairmaster!
may your i-pod ear buds
aid you in your great climb;
your asymtopical
march towards oblivion.
may you touch god's face!

2006-09-06T23:08:00.001-07:00

clean

clean. i want to clean.
boredom has set in. i see the outline of my own nose.
i feel cold hard fear writhe in the back of my throat. it gnaws.
i have to do something to suppress it. so i start to clean my room. not so much clean, as order. to put things in their proper place.
truly, godliness is akin to cleanliness. only if life where that simple; if it only took a moment to order all of existence. if only God cleaned his room every once in awhile. or maybe that's what death is and a coffin is just a small pine toy chest.
i finish cleaning but i'm not satisfied. everything is where it should be but i know tomorrow it'll be a mess again.
breath.
late. (10 p.m.) b.c. aud. Vietnamese janitors eat their modest brown sack lunches.
the man takes his shoes off. his prosthetic foot in one of the shoes. he and his wife laugh.
now, that is the thought that comforts me.
one can clean the world and laugh as if it won't become dirty tomorrow.
the gnawing subsides.
smile. sleep.

2006-09-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

3,600

I.

lets start by
saying I appreciate
the warm sentiment.

not that i
couldn't have used
all that money

because i could
of. but i
don't feel entitled.

II.

nor do i
really want the
mess of strings

that comes attached.
so you don't
owe me anything.

i can't say
much because it
makes me angry.

III.

you can be
such a simple
he-haw, stupid jackass

like 3,600 dollars
would make it
okay for me

to look you
in the eyes
as a son.

IV.

but in way
of an apology
know: if i

really needed the
money i have
faith enough to

just ask and
believe that i
would recieve it.

2006-09-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

fall semester: a tribute

i'm back.
bitches.

2006-08-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

Hangover

pOUndINg hEAdaCHe
disorinetatoin
my ey s wo 't st y op n
light headed
feeling sickijbf
nose is ruuuuuuuuning
everything is too bright

just let me go back to bed

2006-08-28T00:03:00.000-07:00

Humor

Amid the sole(mn)
hues of catholic masses
the alter servers
lightened people's mood
with thier soft-pastel colored
rubber so(u)led clogs.

2006-08-27T01:48:00.000-07:00

Soul

What if soul
was a stream
and body but
a river bed?

Perhaps God is
a tall moutain
and all humanity
is rushing/flowing
towards the sea.

Oh!, the rain
that refreshes life
when it falls
back to earth.

Perhaps we all
share the same
water (or soul)
and life is
a moment spent
in the current.

2006-08-26T22:21:00.000-07:00

Fear: A Haiku

Nothing humbles men
like unfamiliar blacktop
in the dead of night.

2006-08-22T00:54:00.000-07:00

Nike

Check out my new short story "Nike" and the new format I'm trying out to publish my short stories. This is by far my most ambitious project to date and is still very rough. Any and all comments you have for this piece would be greatly appreciated. (I'm hopping to recieve more than the one or two comments posts usually recieve.)

want to take a peak inside the rabbit hole? if yes follow the link below

http://nikeshortstory.blogspot.com/

2006-08-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

airport

late last night i picked some
friends up from the airport (PDX)
everyone was there; parents, girlfriends, friends
the endless carpet,guards, pilots, flight
attendants, and carousels.

it made me love the airport's expensive food and
loopy parking garages. late. can't sleep.
2:00 am (pacific time) and i
don't know why.

i figured it out, almost. i
need my barefeet on that carpet
that stretched out like an ocean.
don't know why.

but i want something else.
and as i close my eyes
i know. i want only to
return from someplace.

2006-08-16T22:07:00.000-07:00

hunger

a
gaping hOle
in
the cOre

--middle--

of
my stomach
being
mmm food

2006-08-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

Everything Is Gonna Be Alright

Down the road to her house
Thinking about the way she loves me
Walking alone under that dim street light
I know everything is gonna be alright.

Her smiling face is waiting for me
She greets me at the door
As I look deeply into her eyes
I know everything is gonna be alright.

Everything's gonna be, gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
As long as she is standing by my side
I know everything is gonna be alright.

I lay down next to her head
She's warm and cuddled up in a dream
Think to myself it's a beautiful night
I know everything is gonna be alright.

Next day, she shows up at my door
brings me breakfast and a kiss
Sit on the porch in the soft sunlight
I know everything is gonna be alright.

Everything's gonna be, gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
As long as she is standing by my side
I know everything is gonna be alright.

5 years later nervous as can be
She's coming down the aisle
I've never seen her with a smile so bright
I know everything is gonna be alright.

Take the sold sign off the lawn
Walk into the empty house
She says I love you and holds me tight
I know everything is gonna be alright

Everything's gonna be, gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright
As long as she is standing by my side
I know everything is gonna be alright.

Down the road to our house
Thinking about the way I love her
I see her face and know I was right
Everything is gonna be alright.

I know everything is gonna be alright.

-For Hayley

2006-08-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

dRugS & LiarS

I.

Lauren MIcheaLs
-pro-Ducer of
SNL- is''nt
CUmmin' to
dinhEr tonite

II.

what is
the difference
between pills
and liars?

answer: pills
are easier
to swallow.

III.

LeyeS & DruGss
are bOth
a KInD
of OPiatE

2006-08-10T18:08:00.000-07:00

SIN

say SIN
again
-gin/jinn
spirits (genie)
rubbing
alcohol
that burns
ether:
the heavens
anesthetic
solvent
of souls-
SIN

2006-08-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

rodeo

I.

seems to me
that the bull
always wins.

II.

the battle
of the bulls
reminds me

of most love.
such a hard
eight seconds-

if your not
careful it's
gonna hurt

III.

cowboys get
back on that
bull and pray.

2006-08-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

poetry

poetry doesnt say
an e thing
it skirts, and circles,
what cant be expressed
like how u make me feel
or the way an
unsaid word is.

-for meredith

tea

it was our first visit
to a walled garden

city all around us
yet; quiet and serene

for a time we lingered
by glass pond and lillies

but then the house of tea
in hopes to find some shade

bitter-sweet and chilled tea
that cooled the lips so well

when i tasted it (tea)
i tasted you (a kiss)

and when i kiss you soft
it reminds me of tea

noise and city and fear
made; quiet and serene

a kiss takes me to our
walled garden in the city

-for meredtih

2006-08-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

wooden wind chimes

its like a
the echo of
a finger pressed
against the inside
of a cheek
and a drop
of water deep
in a cave